Black or White
by aspireraywriter
Summary: Harry has become Snape’s apprentice. Snape is helping him to understand War, Magic and Voldemort. As Harry grows stronger, and his childhood friends begin to let him down he discovers that things are not black and white.SLASH, Sex & Death.You are warned!
1. Introduction & Prologue

Title: Black or White

Summary: Harry has become Snape's apprentice. Snape is helping him to understand War, Magic and Voldemort. As Harry grows stronger, and his childhood friends begin to let him down he begins to discover that things are not black and white. SLASH. Graphic sex and Character death. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

World Summary: Harry Potter. Property of J. and Warner Brothers

WARNING: Semi-macabre, slash, lemon, original character violation, spell invention. If you can think of any more, please inform me. I have tried not to offend or mislead anybody. Spoilers for all books.

Plot Summary: Pairings: Severus Snape/Harry Potter (Main Pairing), Severus Snape/Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger. BDSM love story. Starts at the beginning of Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts after Sirius' death. Note: Dumbledore knows nothing about the horcruxes.

Character Summary:

Severus Snape: Have tried to make him as like he is in Harry Potter but GAY. IF YOU ARE HOMOPHOBIC THEN PLEASE AVOID THIS FIC.

Harry Potter: Much more innocent and submissive than in the book. Also much stronger and more conscientious. Vaguely based on the young Dorian Grey, from The Portrait of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. GAY. IF YOU ARE HOMOPHOBIC THEN PLEASE AVOID THIS FIC.

Ron Weasley: As in books. Hopefully.

Hermione Granger: As in books. Hopefully.

Dumbledore: Meddlesome and clueless. Minor character. Well-meaning but utterly left out of action.

Lupin: Portrayed as stupid. This isn't really my opinion of him, but him and Sirius really do bang on about James wayyyyyyyy too much!

A/N – Hi! Welcome to my new fic. If you have read some of my other work, this is more like the epic love story that is My Silacore than anything else, but this focuses more on plot and less on sex than that one. Hope to be posting about once a week. Do review if you enjoy it, I will endeavor to reply.

The stone rose in a great arc over the water and fell in the distant middle of the lake.

"Good shot, Harry," Lupin cried with over-emphatic good-humour. "Your father was great at throwing too. Maybe it's something to do with being a seeker. I remember me and him and S –." Lupin broke off and looked at Harry worriedly. Harry did not look upset, but a slight frown had crossed his features. Lupin was irresistibly reminded of Lily suddenly. He remembered the look she wore when something was bothering her, that same slightly puzzled frown. It suddenly occurred to him how little he had actually known about Lily, and equally how little he knew about this odd, quiet seventeen-year-old. After a moment Harry spoke.

"It's alright you know. Sirius and I didn't really know each other for long. I'll see him soon enough anyway I expect."

"Harry you shouldn't say that!" Lupin's indignation sounded strained even to him. Harry could well be dead within the year.

"It's alright Lupin. I've decided to stop wasting my time. I'm going to start training. I have all the information already. I know what I have to do." It took a moment for Lupin to ingest all this.

"So…you need a tutor."

"No," came the cold, even reply, "I have one already." Lupin could not help but feel slightly hurt. It was true he was very busy and couldn't teach Harry all the time, but Harry could at least have asked him!

"Who..?"

"Snape."

"Oh! _Oh._ Yes. I see." Lupin did. Who was Dumbledore's only confidante? Snape. Who knew more dark arts than anyone else in the order put together? Snape. Who knew more of Voldemort's movements than anyone else? Yes. It all made sense now. But…

"Harry, I thought you hated Snape?" To Lupin's surprise, and slight trepidation, Harry laughed blackly.

"I've got to go," Harry said, his laughter ending abruptly and leaving a horrible echo across the lake.

"Yes, of course, I'll walk you back."

HP/SS

Severus sat brooding over his tea. He was pretending to read, but he hadn't turned a page in the last hour. It was summer. He could hear whoops and laughs from outside. They did not come from Harry, he knew that, but he could imagine Harry's laughing face as he spoke to the wolf. Always his father's friends. It was a long time since Severus had admitted to himself that he liked the boy. Not because he was like his mother or his father, because he was neither. He was just simply so…There was a bang and to his great surprise Harry marched in grumpily and threw himself into a chair.

"How was your interview with the wolf?" Severus asked.

"When is he going to realise I'm not his precious James?"

"Maybe when you stop acting like him." Harry threw him a dirty look.

"Don't insult me."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Harry was draped casually over Severus' favourite armchair. His chest rose and fell under the thin white shirt. Severus could see the pulse in his neck. He looked alert and excited.

"So," he said after a short silence, "what are you going to teach me?"

"Occlumency. Spells. The ability to control yourself and your emotions." Severus allowed his lip to curl. "Perhaps a little common sense if we're lucky."

"Surely not." Harry said sardonically.

"There is hope yet Potter. Get up." Harry got up swiftly. Severus pointed his wand at him without preamble.

"Whoa…careful with that."

"You are in my power, Potter. What do you do?" Harry was beginning to look unnerved.

"I…I get out my wand."

"You'll be dead if try anything of the kind."

"Look this isn't funny…"

"What do you do, Potter, come on. My patience is waning."

"I…I beg?"

"No-o I think that only re-establishes my power over you. The important thing is not to be scared, Potter." _Much as you begging me would be quite –_

"I don't know what to do."

"Take your example from your enemy. What does he do?" Harry paused.

"Oh. I see. He lingers. He talks. He impresses the other person."

"Right. Can you do that?" Harry paused worriedly, then shook his head. Severus rolled his eyes and threw Harry his own wand. Harry caught it, easily and pulled out his own, replacing Severus' in his pocket.

"Now you're in my power," he chirped happily. Severus took a step towards him.

"No, Potter, listen. I know you're not going to kill me or curse me, so I'm not worried at all. When I had the wand, you weren't quite sure enough, were you?" He took another step as Harry shook his head again. "So until you get a bit tougher, Potter, I can simply reach out…" Severus reached for his wand in Harry's pocket and tried not to think about it, "…and take my wand back and _Expelliarmus!_" Harry grinned at Severus.

"Teach me," was all he said.

HP/SS


	2. Training Hard

"To begin, Mr Potter, you will need to improve your reflexes and your agility. Go over to those ropes and don't stop until you've done one hundred swings around them. Go!" Harry went. After eight, he was tired and panting. After twenty he had to pause, his breath was coming in hard, laboured wheezes. Snape threw a stinging hex at him and he continued, glaring at his tutor whenever he happened to be facing the right way. Snape _damn him_ simply settled himself comfortably in his chair and lit a cigarette casually. At forty, Harry collapsed on the floor. It was impossible for one person to do that many rotations in one go. He heard Snape cry "_Levicorpus_!" And the next minute he was hanging from one leg in the air in front of the man, still puffing and bright red in the face. Snape raised an eyebrow. "You stopped?"

"Yes," Harry wheezed. "Put – me down will – you?"

"Why, do you wish to give up training?"

"N – No I just need – a break!" Snape dropped Harry painfully on his shoulder and swept over to him like a predator.

"Do you think the dark lord will 'give you a break'?"

"I…no."

"Then one hundred laps if you please, and you can start from zero again." Rebuffed but fuming Harry went back to the ropes and began more slowly this time. The world was spinning and he felt faint by the time he reached one hundred, but at least he had finished. Sweat was running down his face.

"How was that?" Severus looked up.

"Adequate. You will need to perfect that before we can even start duelling though. Practise, Potter. Keep your fitness up."

"And I suppose you could do all that?"

"Of course."

"I'd love to see you try." Snape smiled.

"You'd be welcome to." He shrugged off his long cloak, vaulted down into the circle and began to swing himself incredibly fast between the ropes, barely even touching the ground in between. Harry stared, impressed. It had never occurred to him that Severus might be physically fit before. Damn, he was at forty already and not even slowing down, barely even out of breath! At one hundred, Snape did his last swing and fell into a run which took him back up the stairs to Harry. He wasn't sweating. He was breathing deeply, but not uncontrollably and within a few seconds his breathing returned to normal.

"Wow," said Harry honestly. To say that Severus smiled might have been overstating, but there was a faint flicker in his face.

"You have a lot of work to do, Potter."

"It seems so."

"You may go or stay, I care not."

"I'm staying, definitely. Should I have another go at the rope thing?"

"Good, you're getting the idea. Hurry up then!"

HP/SS

"Oh, hey Harry." Harry collapsed through the portrait hole. He was exhausted. It was half past midnight and Severus had been working him all night. They had begun with a fierce battle of minds, and Severus had been pleased with him. Harry had fought him off for half an hour before he managed to penetrate his mind and finally he was not patronising him, he was using full strength spells on him. Then Severus had watched and commanded while Harry trained. One hundred sit-ups and push ups, running, and knife throwing. It was important that Harry was able to knock off death eaters and it seemed a waste of time duelling them when they had only one soul. Finally they had duelled. Neither had won tonight. Harry was getting stronger. He was almost as strong as Severus now, and he was stronger and faster physically. Now though, it was late and Harry knew he needed to get up early the next morning. Four months of this had taken it out of him. Still, it was nearly Christmas and he was going to Grimauld place with Severus and the Order to train more. He couldn't wait. There was so much black magic in that house to practise on. Now, though he had to be normal. His friends couldn't know.

"Hey guys. What are you doing still up?"

"We're working, Harry. Have you done all that work for tomorrow?" Harry blushed. The homework had been simple. Essay on an easy potion for Snape, history of unforgivables for Binns and A simple charm to learn for Flitwick.

"Um, yeah I have actually I did it before."

"Have you been in the dungeons practising occlumency again?"

"Yes."

"You're _always_ there. We never see you! You've even given up Quiddich to do all this occlumency. Can't you do it yet?" Harry felt rattled. Of course he could do occlumency. He just needed to be impenetrable, that's all. He sighed and sank down in an armchair next to his two best friends who, he noticed, were sitting remarkably close to one another.

"I'm sorry I'm never here. But this isn't a case for being good enough to pass. If I'm not totally prepared for Voldemort – Ron, get a grip! – Voldemort's power focused on my mind, then I will die, do you understand? And all of you too, I expect." Ron looked abashed, but had a reply.

"But you're better than our teachers in all our lessons. Surely it can't be – "

"_Teachers?!_"

"Okay, sorry Harry I get it, but aren't you exhausted and stressed all the time? I find it hard enough to keep up with homework." Harry bit back telling Ron that if he didn't spend so much time lazing around and slacking off then maybe –

"And what about Ginny, Harry? You know she likes you, and for a while it seemed like you could like her too. What happened? You barely see us, let alone her. She says she hasn't spoken to you properly in months!"

"I'm sorry if I gave you all the wrong idea. I don't have feelings for Ginny. I mean, I love her, but in the same way I love you two."

"Don't tell me you're still hung up on Cho…"

"No! Don't be ridiculous. She was pretty. I had nothing better to look at."

"So…You're just…unattached."

"Yes. Is that so hard to understand?" Ron shrugged, and then looked at Hermione who looked back at him. They were wondering whether to tell him. Well, he might as well save them the trouble."

"And I know about you two as well." Both of them jumped.

"What?"

"How?"

"We only just –"

"And you –"

"I've probably known longer than you have. Come on, it's blindingly obvious. You can't keep your eyes off each other, even when you're fighting, which is most of the time." There was a short pause, then Hermione laid her hand on his knee.

"Harry, we don't want you to feel like the third party…"

"I'm fine on my own."

"Seriously Harry, it's like you're not even a person anymore. You never want to do anything except work, when we do see you you're wound up like a spring…We were wondering…is this about…Sirius?"

"Oh for god's sake! No, it's nothing to do with Sirius or Dumbledore or Voldemort or anyone else. For once it's actually something to do with me."

"But it's like you're a robot or something! It seems to me that the only person who ever sees you any more is Professor Snape, and he –" Harry had had enough. He wasn't angry. He knew better than to loose his temper. Instead he was cool as he said,

"Yes. We spend lots of time together. He is training me and I spend all my time training. You think it's strange? Well actually it's quite nice to be with someone to whom you don't have to explain every tiny little thing. He can work it out on his own. He understands that I'm going to die, and instead of whining about it and rushing blindly into danger only to be a burden, he trains me as hard as he can so that maybe, in five years I might still be alive, and even more unlikely, I might be able to have a normal life and spend time with you lovely people. Until then, I wish you luck." They were both staring at him. The silence endured horribly. He realised he had almost outright called them a burden and wished he hadn't. They were all he had. Hermione had tears in her eyes. Ron's face twisted slightly as he said,

"Maybe the sorting hat was right to put you in Slytherin." So they were back to that now.

"Maybe it doesn't matter what house you're in at high school? Look, I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did. That's not what I think of you guys. I was actually referring to me. I've never been better than a burden to Dumbledore. But now I'm his strongest weapon."

"Harry, learning occlumency…"

"Hermione, how do you think I got so good at lessons? Snape hasn't just been teaching me occlumency. He teaches me all sorts of magic you've never even heard of. My magic is much, much stronger than it's ever been before. Hell, if I had time I'd restart the DA and teach you all how to defend yourselves; I know so much more now." They gazed at him, stunned.

"So…what can you do?" Ron asked eventually. Harry couldn't help but smile.

"Almost everything," he said quietly. "Just not well enough."

"Show us," Ron said enthusiastically, "show us something cool."

"I can't." Harry bit his lip. "Not here, Sev – Snape would know and I really need to sleep. But listen, tomorrow I'm going down and you could follow me under the invisibility cloak and watch. I'll put protective spells on it just in case any unforgivables go flying."

"Why did you never tell us this before?"

"I was worried you'd suspect Snape. I was worried you'd want to do it with me. You have to understand that when the time comes if I go in alone I have a chance. But if I go into war with you two then I'm going to be focussing on protecting you. We would all die within minutes." Harry stood up and tried not to look at their shocked faces. "Good night," he muttered, and left them to their thoughts.

He climbed he stairs three at a time, crept into his dormitory and then into the adjoining bathroom. As he soaped himself clean of all the sweat and dirt he realised how good it felt to finally share his secret with them. Maybe they could even come around to him calling his teacher 'Severus'. As he towled his hair and fell into bed he mused on the clever, quiet man and wondered if he'd ever be able to pay him back. He pulled his hangings around him, spelled them closed and put on all the protective charms, including the silencing charm. Then he let his mind free itself of all emotion and he dropped like a stone into sleep. He dreamed.

He was lying on his side and somebody was lying behind him, stroking his arms. It was so comforting. It was a man, he thought, and the fingertips transferred to his waist, spidering along his skin in a gentle caress. And then he turned in the man's arms, and briefly noticed that the man was naked and really ought to be a girl, before the man's lips brushed against his own and he forgot about girls altogether. He could feel the hot, firm skin, and then the man was over him, and he was getting hard, and he could feel the other man pressing against his stomach, and then the man kissed him again, and there was heat in it this time, and Harry lifted his hips and felt the firm press of the man's thigh muscle between his legs. Harry knew he must be a very sick little boy, but he wanted the man's cock in his mouth, he wanted that mouth on his skin, he wanted…

He woke, his fingers sliding in and out of his own mouth, his hips riding into the air as he came all over his sheets. He was sweating and panting. As his head cleared, he found he was shocked at himself and wondered if that was normal. He picked up his wand and cleaned the sheets absent mindedly, then fell back on his hot pillows, pulling the covers over his naked body. It wasn't the first time he'd woken up coming. Usually, the dreams were indistinct. He could never remember it being so vivid. And that had definitely been a man. Harry could remember the hot press of his cock between Harry's legs. Harry groaned gently and tried to push it from his mind. He looked at his watch. It was only three. He still had three hours till he needed to get up. He thought of Severus and leaned over to his bedside drawer for a vial of dreamless sleep. Maybe Severus would see the dream next time he was in Harry's mind, Harry thought with embarrassment, and then he was asleep and nothing could wake him.

HP/SS


	3. Caught!

A/N – Hi! Welcome to 'Black and White's next instalment. Thanks for the feedback guys, can I please remind those of you who have not had replies, I can't reply to them if you don't sign them! No romance yet, but I'll keep the chapters rolling. Have the feeling this is going to be a very looooooong story! Much hugs guys! (Ugh, grammar).

My heart was pounding in my ears with trepidation as I crept down the dungeon corridor after Harry. Ron's breath was reassuring in my ear, but I knew that if we were caught it would be the end of our career at Hogwarts, and maybe even the end of Harry's lessons. We seemed to be heading for a portrait of an old intelligent-looking man at the far end. It looked very old. As Harry came towards it, it smiled in recognition.

"Evening Albert," Harry said politely.

"Good evening Harry Potter. He is waiting for you." Harry smiled and Ron and I hurried to catch up so that we could slip in through the portrait as it closed. We shrank back into a corner and sat down as Harry had advised. We were in what looked like a large arena. There were a few armchairs, a bookcase, a bubbling cauldron and a drinks cabinet on the raised level where the door was, and it overlooked a fairly large circular room with ropes rigged up around the sides. Professor Snape was standing next to one of the armchairs. He had removed his usual billowing robes and was wearing a black shirt and some black trousers. He looked very different and very odd. He looked up when Harry came in and almost _smiled_.

"Good evening. Gin?"

"Love some." Harry walked over and took the glass from his professor. As one they threw back their heads and emptied the stuff into their throats. Then Snape clapped his hands.

"Right Harry. To work. Go and warm up." _Harry?_ Since when had Snape called Harry 'Harry'? Harry shrugged off his jacket and jogged over to the ropes. He began to swing from them in a figure of eight pattern. I hadn't realised before quite how strong he was. He sprinted from rope to rope, lifting himself around them without even breaking a sweat. I looked over at Snape. He was watching Harry with an impenetrable look on his face. This continued for ten minutes. Suddenly Snape vaulted into the arena with surprising agility and fired a jet of white light at Harry. "_Legilimends!_" Harry could not possibly have got his wand out in time…and yet he had and cried,

"Protego!" Everything was moving so quickly. Harry was in the arena already. Snape might have dodged his own spell but I couldn't be sure. Spells were flying everywhere, until I could barely see them for the veil of magic separating us from them. I could hear them though. Most of the spells I didn't recognise, but sometimes I heard '_Stupefy_' from one of them or the other. I was stunned. I hadn't realised how fast and how much Harry's power had grown. Suddenly I felt a jolt as Harry cried, "_Crucio,_" which was quickly batted back by Snape. I couldn't believe it. If that hit one of them…and the strength of it was growing with every _Protego_ and _Expelliarmus_ they protected themselves with. At last, it hit Harry in the stomach and he doubled over with the pain of it, but fired his own stunning spell at Snape as he did so which caught him and hurled him backwards across the circle. Harry recovered, panting, picked himself up and ran over to his teacher. "_Enervate,_" he murmured, and Snape opened his eyes.

"Congratulations Harry." There it was again. Harry grinned and held out his hand to pull Snape up.

"Thank you, Severus. Sorry, didn't mean to hit you so hard." Ron and I turned to look at each other in frank disbelief. It was not only the hand; it was the friendly, intimate tone and the personal use of Snape's first name. And the way they smiled at each other as they returned to the middle of the arena…something about it wasn't quite right. Even if it hadn't been Snape, who we all knew hated Harry more than anyone else; they seemed just a little too close. I couldn't imagine speaking even to Hagrid or Lupin as they spoke to each other.

"Do your exercises, Harry. I need to add some ginger root to that potion soon."

"Battle of minds after?" I assumed Harry meant occlumency. Snape smiled again. It was definitely there this time. It was amazing how completely it changed his face. He almost didn't look so ugly anymore. Harry lay down in the middle of the arena and began to do sit ups. Snape climbed the stairs onto the platform and went over to the potion. He cast a spell on it, speaking too low for us to hear. The potion hissed, and he quickly threw in the ginger root. It turned a deep blue-purple and I recognised dreamless sleep. As though in a trance he began bottling it up. We watched him, until there was a slight groan from the arena as Harry turned over and began doing press ups. Ron was watching him enviously. I held his hand and looked back at Snape. And froze. He was looking at Harry in the way that no teacher should ever look at a student. It was only for a moment, and then he turned back to his potion. But I had seen, and I think Ron had seen that look. Pure desire. Heat. Longing. I shivered. And Harry thought Snape was teaching him out of goodwill?

It got worse. Soon Harry finished his exercises, and they began their goddamn battle of minds. I didn't properly understand what was happening, just that they stared at each other for a long time. Obviously mind magic was happening. It lasted a long time. By the time something happened they were both sweating and I had awful cramp in my leg. Harry gave a little cry and gasped,

"Stop, please."

"What's wrong?"

"That's private."

"I saw nothing."

"Oh." They stepped back from each other a little and I looked and there it was, just a tiny flare this time, that sudden heat in Snape's eyes…Harry had his back to me, so I could not tell if he'd seen it or not.

"And what is it you wish to hide?" Harry's feat shuffled and his ears were red.

"Oh, it's nothing, it's just personal…" Ron and I looked at each other. Harry did not have a girlfriend. He had no time to hide one. What else could he possibly have to hide? And did he have a hope of concealing it from Snape? And if he was keeping it from Snape, he was probably keeping it from us too. They were coming up the stairs to our part of the room now. I motioned to Ron to stand and together we painfully stood up.

"Same time tomorrow?" Harry asked. Snape looked at him questioningly for a moment and I could tell he was thinking almost exactly what I had. Harry could tell too. I could see his face this time as he blushed. "Please, don't ask, it's nothing serious."

"Next time you can put whatever memories you need to into the pensive. Tomorrow, yes. Good night." To my surprise, Harry blushed again and murmured,

"Yes, you too. I really need to get myself somewhere to sleep down here. Someone's going to notice I'm here every night soon." Ron and I exchanged glances.

"I'm not sure…well, we can discuss it tomorrow."

"Yup. Umm…bye." Harry flashed one of his rare smiles. Snape did not answer, but raised a hand slightly. Then he turned and crossed the arena and left through a door on the far side. I looked back at Harry. He was watching Snape leave with a strangely peaceful expression on his face. As soon as the door was closed, Harry turned towards our corner and put a hand to his lips. We left out of the portrait and Harry murmured 'goodnight' to the sleeping man in the painting. In the entrance hall Harry said,

"You can take it off now if you want."

"Harry what the fuck?"

"'Severus'?"

"Didn't you see the way he was looking –?"

"_Shut up!_ Now calm down. What are you talking about?"

"Well Harry, you've got to admit you are a little…"

"What?"

"_Close_."

"Oh for fuck's sake, he's teaching me how to survive, of course we're close."

"Harry, he hates you. He bullies you in class."

"He's meant to be a death eater, remember? What do you think Lucius Malfoy would think if his precious little Draco told him that Severus Snape was all buddy-buddy with Harry Potter? Come on, Hermione, you've got brains."

"Harry, he _looks_ at you."

"Well he's got to, he is my –"

"You know what I mean."

"He doesn't."

"I saw it, Harry."

"You saw what you wanted to see – Nasty old Snape doing something bad. He's never touched me, alright?"

"And what if he does?"

"He won't. You know what he's like. Even if he wanted to, which by the way he _doesn't_, he's far too wrapped up in himself to ever do something about it."

"But if he did, you'd tell us, right?"

"Like you'd want to know."

"Harry –?"

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

When we reached the common room he was waiting for us by the fire.

"Sorry I got angry."

"I'm sorry too. I was really impressed by your magic by the way."

"Yeah, oh my god Harry, what was that, seventy sit-ups?"

"One hundred, actually. I do them twice a day. It keeps my fitness up. I usually run too but…anyway. Goodnight."

"Night, Harry." He ran up the stairs and I turned to Ron and there was nothing to say. Something was pulling them together. I couldn't have stopped it if I'd tried.

HP/SS


	4. THOSE Dreams

"Umm…Severus?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Do you ever find it weird?"

"What?"

"You know. Umm…us working together. Spending so much time." Severus' heart sank. Harry hated him. For a brief few weeks he'd thought Harry was coming around to his presence, but apparently not.

"When you're not being insufferable, no." Harry grinned at him amiably.

"You mean sometimes I'm not insufferable?" Severus allowed his lip to curl.

"Sometimes you're sufferable. Just."

"Oh Severus. You flatterer." They were sitting up on the chairs. It was late on Thursday night and on Saturday morning they were off to Grimauld place. Severus was both excited and irritated. It was true that he and Harry would have time alone to practise, and as far as he knew nobody was staying there most of the time. But these evenings had a charmed certainty that nobody would – could – come in.

"Do you remember last week when you were reluctant for me to penetrate your mind? Was it anything important?" Severus watched Harry blush. The colour rose all the way back to his ears and he looked up shyly through his eyelashes. Damn.

"No it was…just one of those dreams."

"Not a vision?"

"No! It…I…" Harry was flustered. Severus refilled his glass and Harry knocked the gin back bravely. "I mean one of _those_ dreams. You know? Oh for fuck's sake, I'm a hormonal teenager. _Those_ dreams." Severus wouldn't blush. Severus _never _blushed. Instead he cleared his throat and wondered if it was possible to be any more aroused without so much as a kiss. "You know, Severus, I don't have them very often, but I'm pretty sure they're trying to tell me I like men." Severus was only able to croak,

"Oh?"

"Yes." Harry's eyes glittered as he looked Severus directly in the face. "Is that bad?"

"It's none of my business. I'm afraid you will find it's very unaccepted in the magical world, more so even than in the muggle one. It's treated as a disease or a defect. But no, it's not bad. I am myself of that noble persuasion." Harry looked up, startled. Severus thought maybe he would bite out his tongue. Did he want Harry to run screaming from the room? Harry didn't look alarmed however. He just looked shocked.

"Oh." He said lamely.

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Yes! And then we're going to Grimauld Place."

"Purge of the Blacks."

"Yes! Goodnight Severus." Harry stood unsteadily and grinned excitedly at him before making a rather undignified exit.

HP/SS

"I just can't help being worried." Hermione sat in front of the fire, absent mindedly knitting elf hats by magic, but her work today was awful because really her mind was on something else, and that something else, was Snape. Harry was upstairs packing and in a few minutes he'd be flooing to Grimauld Place where he's meet Snape for four weeks of intensive training. Since the night she and Ron had followed Harry, he had not mentioned the fiasco and Hermione had taken her lead from him, and advised Ron to do the same. However, Ron had confided to her that some nights Harry did not seem to come back at all and Hermione wondered if he really had taken to sleeping in the Dungeons as Harry had suggested. Ginny, she knew, would be even more heartbroken that usual if she were to find out that Harry and Snape were…well, what exactly? Hermione hadn't seen anything she could technically disapprove of. Maybe if Dumbledore knew that Harry was sleeping there…At that point Harry strolled empty-faced into the common room, levitating a smallish bag in front of him lazily.

"No," he agreed, apparently addressing Hermione's thoughts, "there is nothing incriminating." Hermione felt nettled. She hated it when Harry read her mind. But she forgot to be angry as he swept her out of her chair in an uncharacteristic display of affection. He hugged her tightly, a little off the floor, planted a kiss on her stunned cheek, and replaced her in her chair. "Bye Ron," he said quietly, turning to him. "I'll really miss you guys." And before either of them had time to respond, he had taken Ron's hand for a moment, and then he and his trunk disappeared. And once again Hermione was left worried and helpless. She looked at Ron just in time for her lips to meet his. She smiled into the warm comfort of it and laced her hands into his hair. And then his tongue slid into her mouth and she breathed the comforting taste of him in.

"I nearly died when I saw him kiss you," Ron whispered possessively. It took Hermione a moment to remember what he was talking about. Instead of answering she voiced what had been trying to force its way into her brain all day.

"Isn't that the last person gone from your dorm?"

Much later she fell asleep curled close to Ron. And didn't think of Harry at all.

HP/SS

Severus waited impatiently. Harry never kept him waiting. He sipped some tea and gazed into the fire, trying to work out what could be taking him so long. The fire reminded him of Lilly's hair. Harry was so like her. The intelligence. The fiery temper. The slim form. That magical subtlety. Severus smiled just as the flames turned green and Harry stepped gracefully out of the fireplace.

"Miss me?" He chirped. Severus smiled and raised an eyebrow. "I'll take that as a yes," Harry said good-naturedly. "We could go and practise, but I'm more in the mood for sleeping right now. What about you? Early start instead?"

"If you wish, Potter." Severus was surprised when Harry held out a thin brown hand. Without thinking, he accepted it and Harry pulled him to his feet. They levitated their trunks and took the stairs in comfortable silence. Harry bypassed the first floor and Severus followed him up to the second. Harry took the third left into a small room with a big bed and no windows. He dropped the trunk on the floor, flicked his wand, and his possessions packed themselves in the armoire. Severus opened his mouth to speak.

"I think it's safer if we sleep in the same room, don't you? We know each other well enough for that?" Severus wondered suddenly why all the oxygen had gone from the world. Wrenching his small reserve of decency out of the pit of his stomach, he managed to choke,

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Whyever not?" Harry had never looked so innocent. The minx.

"Two gay men. Big empty house. One bed."

"You're corrupting me," Harry said happily. _Incorrigible brat._

"I hope so," Severus muttered before he could stop himself. Harry's impish grin melted into seriousness as he saw Severus' face. "Potter…What are you doing?" Harry, kneeling on the bed, suddenly blushed and immediately Snape remembered his age for the first time in weeks.

"I don't know," Harry admitted.

"I thought not," Severus replied, trying to regain a little of his self control. _He looks so… __**control**__…and his lips look so…__**control**__…and that trail of hair between his shirt and his jeans going down to…__**Merlin!**__ Harry, on the bed, crying out, eyes hot just like they are right…_ "Now," said Severus stupidly. Recovering quickly, he continued, "let us stop this nonsense and get some sleep. I am going to dress in the bathroom."

Severus made it to the bathroom before he cried out. He leaned back against the door and groaned. He had never been so hard. Harry had invited him into his bed. He was going to sleep in Harry Potter's bed. He – Severus' hand snaked into his pants and within a minute he was coming, the memory of Harry's blush fresh in his mind.

Back in the bedroom, Harry was already in bed. When Severus pushed open the door, Harry looked up. He had a no-sleeved white t-shirt on and was reading a book propped on his knees. When Severus came in, however, he let the book fall to the floor and slid under the covers. Severus took a deep breath and climbed into bed next to him, waving the room into blackness with a casual hand.

"Severus?"

"Mmm?"

"I…Goodnight."

"Sleep tight." Severus managed to inject a suitable amount of sarcasm into this last.

Oh he was _warm._ So warm! He could never remember being so warm and comfortable. Or sleeping so soundly! He woke up and remembered where he was. Looking over, he allowed himself a rare smile. Harry was curled into a warm ball, his cheek endearingly smoothed along the pillow, leaving a trail of silky black hair. His lips were slightly parted in sleep. The rest of him was covered by the piles of duvet. Severus lay back down and fell asleep still smiling.

HP/SS

Harry's eyes snapped open as his hips arched forward. His fingers were in his mouth _again_, he was coming so hard it _hurt_. As he reached for his wand to clear up the mess he glanced up and his blood froze. He remembered. Severus was lying fast asleep next to him, looking as grumpy as ever, his face crumpled into the pillow. Harry murmured _Evanesco_ and slid back under the covers, smothering a giggle.

This time when Severus woke and turned over, Harry had moved. He lay splayed and abandoned over the pillows, his arms above his head. Severus couldn't suppress a shiver of delightful excitement and desire. Then he mentally slapped himself. Was he a schoolgirl? Harry groaned slightly and rolled closer to Severus as his eyes opened.

"Oh. Morning," he mumbled.

"Good morning." Harry smiled sleepily.

"You're not so spiky in the morning," he slurred by way of explanation. Severus lay down on the pillows, feeling Harry's body heat burning his left side. He clenched his fists by his sides to keep himself from reaching out and stroking…

HP/SS

Harry's body was fizzing. Severus was so close it hurt. He wanted to throw himself on top of him and…he hated his own innocence. Could he kiss? Oh…hell. He inched a little closer to Severus inconspicuously. Severus turned his head and he was very close. Harry could feel his breath on his own lips. _Ohh…kiss me please_. His heart was hammering. Surely Severus would hear it over the sleepy silence.

"Harry?"

"Yes." It sounded like an affirmation.

"Let's get up."

"No! Stay. Please!" Harry laid a hand on Severus' shoulder and delighted in the answering hiss. Severus grabbed Harry's arm, as though to pull it off, but he did not tug it away.

"Harry…" Severus spoke through gritted teeth. Harry wrapped himself up in that velvety voice, feeling its smoothness all over his body. "Harry, we must get up." _So_ hard…

And then those thin lips were against his and Harry knew that he was either about to come or to die from pleasure. The mouth was _hot_ and insistent, and Harry's head tipped back automatically. His mouth opened, and with a moan he received Severus' tongue into his mouth. His hands were tangled into Severus' hair. And then Severus moved, or Harry moved, he wasn't sure, and Harry's hips jerked forwards against the other body. They both moaned this time, a hot sigh of hungry desire.

"Sir?" Harry sprang away from Severus and his errection disappeared impressively fast. But it was all right. Nobody was in the room.

"Y…yes?" Harry called.

"Kreacher has breakfast, sir." Harry shot a panicked look at Severus, but Severus had disappeared.

"Uh…come in, Kreacher." Kreacher came in happily, laid the groaning breakfast tray on Harry's lap, and bowed himself out. Severus stood up from the floor haughtily. "Where were you?" Harry asked, amazed.

"Under the bed. Obviously." Harry couldn't quite explain why, but this was suddenly, painfully funny. He snorted with laughter and after a short second, he heard Severus' answering snort which meant he was trying not to laugh, but was.

"I'm glad you find it so amusing, Potter," Snape said sternly, but the next moment he found his mouth full of egg and consented to glare at Harry until he had chewed and swallowed. "Harry…"

"Don't! Please, don't ruin it."

"This has gone far enough, Potter and will go no further. In fact, you would do well to forget everything that has happened in the last twelve hours. Pass the toast." Harry threw Severus a dirty look and a piece of toast. Severus was looking at the floor, chewing his toast.

"Legilimends!" He didn't have a wand, and Harry attacked hard. Severus' eyes looked panic stricken as he raised them to Harry, and then Harry was in his head and there it was, pleasure, desire, happiness, mingled with the inevitable embarrassment and guilt. Harry pulled away.

"How dare you," Severus managed. But it was weak. Harry had seen it and Severus knew full well that he had… "You're a student," He tried again.

"I'm sixteen," Harry said haughtily.

"And I'm thirty-seven." Severus replied soberly. There it was. The harsh truth. Twenty-one years. Harry slid off the bed and tripped charmingly towards Severus, who stared. Harry took his hand and tugged slightly.

"I know." He said, wishing that he could articulate better what his head thought. _I don't care, _he wanted to scream, _I don't care how old or greasy you are, you bastard…_Instead of shouting these words at the man who hated answering back, Harry let his head fall back and he stretched up onto his tiptoes to brush his lips against his tutor's. His stomach flipped. Harry was shaking. And then the arms were around him and that clever tongue was parting his lips, and Harry melted into the embrace, his hips arching slightly, longing for that contact…

"Don't," Severus pleaded against his lips, and then dived back in for another searing kiss, this time pressing his own warm body against Harry's. After a few heart-stopping seconds, in which Harry began to tremble, Severus pulled away with a noise that was almost a snarl. "Stop!" He croaked, and Harry did stop, out of pure shock at the change that had come over Severus. His face was transported, a haunted, desperate look in his eyes. Harry backed onto the bed.

"Are you alright?" He ventured.

Severus threw him a look.

"Err…Sorry; I can see you're not. I'm sorry; I thought…I don't understand."

Severus seemed to be soothed by this comment. "I know you don't," he replied quietly. "You couldn't possibly with your experience." Ouch. That hit home. "Lead us not into temptation." Harry started. He knew those words. He had read them once in Mrs Figg's Bible.

"How do you know that prayer?" Harry interrupted.

"How do you?" Returned Severus challengingly. "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

"You don't believe in God do you?"

"Of course not. The principle is still the same."

"Well why not? I like you, and you like me…I think. We could make a real life for ourselves."

"Until _one_ of us dies, you mean?"

"Is that it? You're afraid that having feelings for me will make it hurt more when you loose me?"

"You think life and death are so _simple_, don't you? Well, here's some news; they're not. You don't have any idea what you're talking about. It could never happen."

"I know nothing's simple! I have no parents, remember? I lost my godfather, and I'm constantly reminded that I might die tomorrow, that my time is limited. How can you say I don't understand that? But I do know…look, I've thought about it, we could –"

"Look, Potter, there's dreams and there's life. Learn the difference."  
"If you'd just shut up a minute you would see I'm trying to tell you something! I think I love you." There was a long silence in which Harry stared defiantly at Severus, slowly turning red and Severus glared back. Then he turned away.

"It's not enough. There's no life for people like us. You've got to face the world and accept it for what it is. And someday you'll change; you'll grow out of it.

"I'm asking to grow with you. You didn't grow out of it."

Severus looked back at him with a twisted smile. "No, I didn't. I remained defected and now spend my time admiring something that I can never have."

"But you can –"

"Is there nothing I can say? No! Do you understand that? No!" Harry hung his head.

"I still don't understand why, but I do understand 'no'."

"Good. Now, let's forget this ever happened and get to work."

"Okay. And Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I…misunderstood." There it was again. That haunted look.

"You are forgiven."

Then he was gone, and Harry was left to clear up the breakfast and pull himself together.

HP/SS


	5. My Darker Side

The boy was heaven. Severus had expected nothing, and was left reeling. Harry was perfect: submissive, innocent, responsive – and utterly dirty minded. Severus had in him an infinite faith. His youth, innocence and good looks inspired no doubt of his instinctive goodness and truthfulness. Severus sighed. It would not always be so. Certainly if Severus meddled with him the boy would become worldly, proud and contemptuous in a very short space of time. Maybe even now he had spoiled that unwavering childlike naivety. Maybe when Harry walked in, he would already have the ways of the world written in his face, as they were in Severus's. No, Severus could not wish the same judgement on Harry that had been thrust upon him. True, he had been taught in a hard school. No pains were made for his comfort. He was barely twelve when he was awakened to sex firmly and permanently by his father. Severus had killed him soon enough, but not before he had discovered violence, dominance, aggression, pain and, perhaps the worst of all, desire. He had seen that last in Harry's eyes this morning, known, perhaps for the first time, the strength of his own influence on the boy – and recoiled. The boy was perfect, but he himself was not, and he couldn't bring himself to infect Harry, who was at this moment so untainted.

Harry entered at that moment looking rather subdued. Severus's stomach jerked, but he was able to calm himself when he saw those huge green eyes raised morosely to his: still faultless. Severus gestured weakly at the living room.

"Let's begin here," he suggested.

Harry fought fiercely against the house all day. He was terrifyingly focussed, dealing efficiently with each curse and creature, never creating fuss when something could be dispatched quickly, never cowering from more dangerous problems, working with skill and knowledge even Severus had not reckoned on. Severus was pleased with him, but surprised. The boy had seemed so sincere in his disappointment, and yet now he seemed utterly cool and controlled. They went to bed that night in the knowledge that the ground floor was now habitable. By the time Severus left the bathroom, Harry was already in bed and the light was out.

Severus awoke again to that warm sleepy comfort. The half light of winter was filtering through the filthy window. Harry was lying next to him, curled in a ball. Severus watched him. He was very calming. His shoulder moved up and down steadily. Severus allowed himself to admire the flawless skin of a sixteen-year old on Harry's arm, and the time-for-a-haircut black that fanned over his neck and the pillow. Unexpectedly, Harry rolled over, murmured something incoherent, and opened his eyes. Severus fought to hide his smile at the long black lashes curling over squinted confused eyes.

"Morning Sev'rus," he managed. "You 'kay?"

"Yes, everything's fine." Harry smiled sadly and wriggled his way out of bed towards the bathroom for a shower. After twenty minutes they swapped places and were ready to begin their work before seven. And so, agonisingly, it continued. For Harry, it was a living nightmare. He fought to try and impress Severus. At least if Severus wasn't prepared to requite Harry's love, at least Harry might redeem himself for making such an idiot of himself.

Severus was trying a different strategy. He was attempting to distract himself from this delightful boy, who was always knocking at his mind's door. Unbeknownst to Harry, there had been a regular visitor to Number 12, Grimauld Place. Draco Malfoy had none of Harry's charm, none of his strength and none of his goodness. Yet, he was handsome, and well schooled. Severus did not have to worry about tainting him. This was as tainted as boys got. Severus hoped Harry never found out what he did to Draco Malfoy after Harry was asleep.

HP/SS

But I did, of course. I found them together in the basement one night. I saw anger and frustration but no cruelty in Severus' actions. I felt uncomfortable despite it. Sure, he was hurting him, but Malfoy liked it. It was almost like a form of sex, but with pain instead of pleasure. They often kissed, but not in the way I think about kissing. Rough. Violent. Not quite like the kisses we had together. What bothered me wasn't the fact that Severus was hurting him, or even that he was keeping it from me. It was the fact that Malfoy was touching him with his _little slimy hands!_ And kissing him with that – admittedly tempting – mouth. Noticing how physically attractive Malfoy is somehow doesn't make me feel any better.

It would always begin with kissing. And then Severus would tell him what a naughty boy he was and Malfoy would purr and beg and wheedle until Severus pronounced his sentence and began to administer it. Severus never touched Malfoy, never fucked him, and never even gave him the pleasure of his hand for a moment. And yet Malfoy always came. Usually at about the same moment he began to bleed his knees buckled and he counted out the last strokes even as he covered himself in his own hot spunk.

I watched with frank fascination. Severus never got any pleasure. Severus never even seemed to be all there. But clearly Malfoy could give him _something_ I couldn't. I wondered briefly about how long it would take _me_ to start begging for mercy under such blows. It was a strange kind of pleasure they were getting. Utterly new to me. Not attractive, but not entirely repulsive either. I found myself wondering in the privacy and cover of night how it would feel. Would I be frightened? Would I come like a pussy like Draco Malfoy always did? Could I choose if Severus asked me, could I keep myself under that much control? It always boiled down to the fact that I would never know. Severus had found his outlet and I was not it. I just couldn't bear to have someone else touch me.

HP/SS


	6. Moaning Myrtle and the present

"Harry!" I turned just in time to gather Hermione into my arms.

"I've missed you too," I laughed, kissing her gently on the cheek. I released her and turned to Ron, who gave me a half-annoyed, half-pleased smile.

"Stop kissing my girlfriend and I'll shake your hand," he said amiably, and I complied. "We've got a whole day till classes start. What do you want to do?" I hesitated, judging their keenness.

"Well, actually, if you wouldn't mind, there's something I'd like to ask of you both." They visibly brightened, and I instantly regretted not asking them last term. "I want to go back to the chamber and clean it out, get rid of the basilisk corpse, and see what else is down there."

"But Harry, that could be terribly dangerous!" Hermione said instantly. I had an answer to that one.

"Hermione, love, I've just spend four weeks cleaning out Grimauld place, which is habitable if a little drab, by the way. I won't let you guys try anything I know you can't do, no offense, but you could both be really helpful to me. Ron, you know more about the chamber than me, and Hermione, your cleaning spells are completely unmatched. Besides, there's never been a better research team." They looked at each other, grinning. Privately, I reminded myself not to scare them with my new skills.

"Lead the way, Harry," Ron replied. "That is, if you still remember it." They laughed, and climbed the two flights of stairs from the entrance hall to moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

"Hi, Myrtle," I said cheerfully.

"Harry! You came to visit me!"

"Would I miss it?" I needed her sympathies if I was going to be frequenting her bathroom. Last term I had come in quite often to chat to her and soften her up. Now was time to reap the benefits. "Hey Myrtle, I've got something despicable to ask you."

"Oooh how _wonderful_. What is it?"

"I've got to go back down and clear up the corpse of our little friend. You wouldn't mind if we came here more often?"

"Of _course_ not! Are you going down now? I'll keep watch."

"Myrtle, you're a star." I have never seen a _ghost_ blush. Not a pretty sight. We made our way to the sinks, located the tap with little difficulty and I spoke the password. Hermione, who had not seen the chamber open before, gasped as the sink sank. "Is it okay if I cast a semi-weightless charm on us all? I don't fancy falling down there in this state again."

When we arrived at the bottom, I was reminded of the little corpses on the floor. I hadn't remembered how bad they'd smelled; perhaps because I had smelled just as bad at the time. I conjured light in the chamber. Apart from the passage blocked by the wall of rock, there were too other, smaller ways of passage.

"Seems like we've got our work cut out," Ron remarked.

"Do you know where either of these goes?" I asked him.

"I _think_ that one might be a way into the lair of the basilisk. From what you've told me, it must come out in Slytherin's mouth. I don't know about that one."

"Right, we should probably stick together, so let's start cleaning here."

It was fascinating, and disgusting. It did appear to be the lair of the beast, the passage sloping up in a spiral, finally coming out in a big, beautiful stone chamber, with a foul-smelling nest filled with skins in the centre. Hermione dispatched it impressively, and we continued out of Slytherin's mouth, out into the main hall, the pool of blood dried black around the beast's body. Hermione raised her wand, but I prevented her. I collected the venom for Severus, and then we butchered the body, sending bags full of the precious meat up the shoot in bags. The bones we also bagged and sent up. The venom I kept on me, in vials in a little satchel. When the room was clean, we tentatively began to explore the second passage. It led down in a spiral, just as the first one had led up. I could hardly contain my excitement when I saw what it was. A labyrinth of books, not just one chamber but several interconnecting ones, all lined with ancient looking books.

"Ron was right," I offered, "we should probably do some surveillance before we touch any of these." Under our examination, we found that several were cursed, but uninteresting in their contents, so we burned them. One, however, was drenched in the basilisk poison and of great interest to me indeed. _Masters of Potion making and their discoveries._ I encased it in glass and made a mental note to buy him some gloves. This too was long neglected and we had to clean behind every book, into every corner.

We finished at seven. Dirty, sweating and swearing, we levitated each other back up the pipe. Loyally, Myrtle stood sentry as promised at the top. I thanked her and closed up the passage. I planned to return the following evening but I didn't want to say so in front of Ron and Hermione, so I winked at her, conjured a note to appear in the U-bend that said _Back tomorrow – HP_, and left.

HP/SS

When Harry returned the following day, he was proud of his friends. It looked bare, desolate, and unwelcoming. But it was clean. The smell of death and decay no longer lingered in the air. Harry started in the main hall. Using magic, he began to construct an arena, similar to the one in the dungeons, but this one had a whole workout course strung above it, in places needing spinning jumps to cross. When he had finished, he took a breath. He would need all his magic for the next part and if he screwed up…well, he didn't want to think about it. Focusing his mind, and picturing what he wanted, he conjured two walls around one corner of the room, cutting a small square out, and making a new room. The next part was easy. He put in a door, and then put a bed and a closet in the little room. Walking back out into the hall, he delighted in conjuring dressers all around the room, empty; it was true, but nevertheless, solidly there. He ran his hand over the wood, marvelling at the power of magic. He did not linger long. He descended the winding passage and put in carpets, armchairs and a sofa downstairs. His excitement was growing. He was nearly finished. Up inside Slytherin's mouth, he put a bathroom, with a bath set into the floor with steps going down into it. In the main upstairs room he put a huge bed, dressing table, closet and bedside table and lamp, with a small bookshelf for night time reading, and a soft carpet on the floor. He checked his watch. Nine. Severus wouldn't be in bed for three hours yet. He turned to the pipe, summoned his remaining strength, and the whole pipe turned into a flight of stairs. He ascended them quickly and spoke to the snake on the tap.

"I know you understand pastletongue, so I want you to listen. I am your master. If you obey me, I will release you from the confines of a carving and you will become a free snake again, unbound by me. But for a few years at least, there is a job I want you to do for me. Sound fair?" The snake nodded solemnly. "There's a man who lives in the dungeons. I hope he is going to live here from now on, and I want you to guard him and respond only to him, in English, or me, in pastletongue. Can you understand him saying the word, 'open'?" The snake nodded again. "Great. I'll go and get him. Oh, and just so you know, I won't break my promise if you are loyal. Would you like some blood to remember me by?" The snake nodded once more and Harry held out his arm, cast a whispered _sectumsempera_ on his arm, with only a little input. A small but deep gash appeared on his arm and dripped blood onto the tap. The snake hissed and the blood disappeared. Harry healed the cut and turned to Myrtle. "You're a pal. Come and visit me sometime, won't you?"

"Oh, I'd _love_ to. And will you come here often?"

"Yes. I mean, I hope to be back a lot. Back in five, Myrtle, but I'm bringing someone. Don't worry, it's not another girl. He might be coming to live down here." Myrtle sniffed.

"I won't come out and say 'hello'. I don't approve of _boys_ in my bathroom. Except you, of course." Harry's heart leapt.

"I can't persuade you? Well, another time then Myrtle."

"Goodbye Harry."

"Bye Myrtle. Stay dead!" Myrtle blushed and smiled, before plunging back into the depths of her toilet.

HP/SS

A/N 'The sink, in fact, sank' has always been one of my fave quotes from HP, and I hope none of you mind that I stole it!!


	7. Drunken Mistake

"Let me in, you git, I've got something for you!" The door opened abruptly, and Draco Malfoy strolled out, giving Harry a knowing look. Harry glared at him as he passed, and slipped through the door. Severus was standing in the middle of the room, with a blank expression, clearly unsure as how to play his two lovers meeting. "Hi," Harry began.

"It isn't wise coming in like that. Now Malfoy knows we're…closer than others think." Harry regarded him with one eyebrow raised.

"You're telling me he's been coming to Grimauld Place for three weeks without knowing that?" Severus was speechless for a moment. His boy knew. "Yes, I've known since it began. I'm not such an idiot that I sleep without wards on my house."

"You've seen, then."

"I have. You seemed to be having fun."

"Harry…"

"Save it. I've got something for you. Sorry, but I can't bring it here. I've got to take you to it."

"I…lead the way."

"I'd love to blindfold you," Harry said airily, "but that might look a little odd under the circumstances, so we'll leave it off." Not even the reminder of Severus's little affair with Malfoy could burst his bubble.

"How kind," Severus rejoined, and followed Harry as he lead Severus up the stairs to the entrance hall, up the marble ones, through a secret stairway and finally along the corridor to moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

"What on earth, Potter?" Severus said with his 'teacher's voice' on. But he followed Harry into the bathroom. Harry turned to him.

"We can talk in here. All the toilets are broken, and my friend Myrtle keeps everyone away for me. She's a ghost. Do you remember the Chamber of Secrets? And how it turned out to be real? And I went down there…err…once?"

"Yes."

"Well…" Harry turned to the Snake on the tap. "This is him," he said in pastletongue. "I'll get him to give you some blood on the way out, okay? Could you let us in now?" The sink slid down, revealing Harry's newly transfigured stairs. "There used to be a pipe there," he said, embarrassed. "Um…come down." Severus followed him with an expression of wonder on his face. "I've been…clearing it…making it habitable," Harry continued as they descended the stairs. "There's really quite an interesting library downstairs. I think most of the books are…unique. You know Salazar Slytherin was a potion maker? I thought…well…when you needed to make potions you could come in here…" He led the way into the main hall, "…and brew potions. I collected the Basilisk venom for the start of your ingredients," he said, waving at the shelves. "Here, come up…into the mouth." They strolled past the bathroom, through the bedroom and down the two tunnels into the library. After examination they came back up, into the hall. "Oh…and over there is where I thought I might sleep sometimes, if you don't mind." Harry gestured towards the corner.

Severus stared at him.

"So what is the bedroom upstairs for?"

"For you, of course."

"For…"

"Don't you get it? I made this for you. It's like…your Christmas present."

"My…"

"Do you…do you like it?" Harry looked into Severus' face. He was gazing at Harry as though he was the most wonderful thing on earth. Apparently he liked it quite a lot. It was all the thanks he needed. "Would you like me to help you move your stuff in, then?" Severus' lips twitched.

"I do not think that will be necessary," Severus said softly, and raised his wand. Harry watched, awestruck, as a long line of potions bottles came whizzing into the room, stacking themselves on the shelves, then a column of books which made its way upstairs, and finally a few clothes and bits and bobs followed them.

"Wow. I didn't know that was possible in that quantity…"

"I still have a little to teach you, pet. Thank you. It is…perfect. And more than I deserve."

"Not true. But you're welcome." Harry couldn't help revelling in Severus's ardent gaze. He tried to look as kissable as possible. After a few moments Severus sighed, took Harry's arm and led him down to the library.

"We have some things to talk about it seems. But I need to tell you something first. I have located a horcrux."

"You have!?"

"Yes. It's well guarded, but we're the right men for the job." Harry swelled with pride. Severus had called him a _man_. "It's in the centre of an inferi-infested lake, at the bottom of a goblet full of poison which one of must drink to reach it." Harry was planning it already. A ring of fire to keep the inferi away. A beazor for the antidote. "The poison in question makes one dehydrated, so bring some water, would you?" Harry nodded. "I thought we'd go on Saturday, if that's agreeable."

"Perfectly."

"And now I ought to explain."

"Only if you want to."

"You need to understand some things. I suppose, first and foremost, I do not _injure_ Draco Malfoy, and never touch him against his will. It might look like…"

"I know that. I've seen him; he…he loves it. Can I ask you something?"

"I suppose you have the right."

"Do you enjoy it?" There was a deep sigh. Harry was burning to ask _Why not me!?_ But refrained.

"It helps me to forget. I have done some things I'm not proud of in my life, and my conscience does not rest easily. Especially now I know you know."

"Because you know I love you?"

"Don't use that word. Please, Harry, we've been through this." Harry knelt up on the couch.

"Well, I should go. But you should know. If you feel like you can't do that with…to me; you can. I'd rather that than with him." And he walked away, leaving a thoroughly miserable potions master behind him.

To Severus's slight surprise, Harry returned the following evening as usual for training. The chamber was brilliant. Both of them attempted the high course and failed, falling painfully to the floor. Harry managed it on his fifth go, but was then too drained for too much magic, so they sat in the library and began to slug their way through Severus's gin collection instead. Severus sat in a new favourite chair of his, while Harry sat leaning against his knees. Several times Severus had to fight the impulse to reach out and stroke the boy's hair. He really did feel…the room was beginning to spin.

"Severus, did you hear what I said? Severus?"

"Sorry Harry, I'm a bit…"

"Do you want a hand up to your room?" Severus looked at Harry appraisingly.

"Please," he said, nodding. Harry propped him up and the two staggered upstairs together. Harry reached up and shyly undid Severus's top two buttons, then steered him to the bed and unlaced his shoes, peeled off his socks. Severus leant back in his oh-so-comfortable new bed, and Harry sat beside him. They looked at each other.

"Would you mind if I slept downstairs?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Not at all. Go ahead. Thank you, Harry." Harry smiled at him, that bright flash of innocent joy.

"You're welcome," he replied, and blushed beautifully. "I would like…I would like to care for you always." Severus' voice failed him. He could only lie back at the utter mercy of his boy. Harry leant towards him, and for one heart-stopping moment, Severus thought he was going to become that delicious, hot eyed creature again. But he did not, to the surprise of them both. He kissed his professor chastely on the cheek and murmured, "Good night." Then he was gone, and Severus wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

Harry woke early. He sat bolt upright and checked his watch. It was four o' clock. Someone was moving in the next rom. Harry got up quietly and padded out, dressed only in a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms with his wand held out. Severus was pacing up and down the room, dressed as he'd been when Harry had put him to bed. They stared at each other across the hall. Then Harry went to him and looked up yearningly into his face.

"Awake so early, Severus?"

"Yes. I couldn't sleep. Go back to bed."

"I'd rather stay with you."

"Then stay. I would enjoy the company."

"Shall I read to you?"

Harry re-installed Severus in bed, before choosing one of the books in pastletongue from the library called _Secrets for my heir_. The author was anonymous. He translated as he spoke, and soon had Severus's avid attention. He read until he was hoarse, then closed the book and looked over at Severus. For once, he seemed at peace. He was one of those people, thought Harry, who rarely relaxed. Lying back in bed, he looked more desirable to Harry than he ever had before. Harry looked at the bed and licked his lips.

"Thank you Harry. You can go back to your bed." Harry looked up. _Did he dare?_

"I'd rather stay in yours," he replied honestly. Severus drew in his breath sharply.

"You're sixteen, Harry."

"I'll never get any less younger than you. I'm as ready now as I'll ever be. And I _want_ this, Severus. I've never wanted anything more than this." He leaned forward and pressed another kiss on Severus's face, then nuzzled the hollow of his sallow cheek.

Suddenly Severus was kissing him and Harry knew in that moment that Severus had wanted this for a very long time, maybe almost as much as he, Harry had wanted it. Harry melted against that mouth which drew gasps and moans from his own lips. He suddenly became acutely worried that he was about to come, kneeling right there. He was about to pull his body away when Severus bit down on Harry's bottom lip and sucked it, hard enough to make a bruise. The blend was too much. Harry's back bent in a bow and he could only cry softly as he came. He was shaking. He had no breath. He felt himself being lowered onto the bed, and tried to open his eyes, tried to speak, tried to move. At last, his tears cleared enough for him to be able to see. What he saw was Severus' face over him. He looked worried. Harry wanted to tell him it was okay, but all he managed was,

"Oh wow…" His body relaxed and his brain began to swim back into focus.

"What? Are you…Damn it, Potter, what's wrong?" Harry waved weakly at the wet patch spreading over his pyjama bottoms.

"I…I…oh wow…" He groaned again. Harry had never seen Severus look bemused before.

"Why did you cry?" Harry thought about it.

"I…I don't know. It was so…" It seemed to be enough. Severus settled himself next to Harry, and Harry turned over to look at him. He still looked slightly confused, and Harry couldn't blame him. It was only a kiss after all. How would he cope if Severus…? _Don't think about it_, he told himself as his cock twitched again.

"Haven't you ever…come before?" Severus asked.

"Yes. But I was asleep. I mean, until I…"

"Quite. Hmm…tutoring you these long evenings has taken its toll. So you've never been kissed before?" Harry wrinkled up his nose in remembrance.

"Actually, I have. Cho Chang kissed me last year at Christmas time."

"How was it?"

"Not…wonderful. We'd been talking about Cedric and she was crying and then the next thing I know she's hanging off my neck and crying on my shoulder, and I sort of…patted her a bit and then she just kissed me, still crying I might add. And when it was over she left, still crying and I went back to Gryffindor tower."

"That's it?" Harry felt slightly embarrassed.

"I've been in the dungeons with you all the time!"

"And so apart from flying rumours you know nothing about relationships…or homosexuals…or sex?" Harry squirmed.

"I know…a bit. Hang on." Harry reached for his wand which was on the bed nearby, and cleaned himself up. Severus smirked. After a very loud pause, Harry began, beginning to feel very hot. "Well I knew about _kissing._" Severus nodded and waited. "And I know about…touching and stuff."

"And 'stuff'?" Severus' hand was very distractingly stroking his side lightly. Harry was beginning to feel very hot about the ears.

"Well…I know about…orgasms. I just had one. And also…well this is more of a question really. Do people…do men…have orgasms in each other's mouths?" Severus' face was impenetrable as he replied,

"Where have you come across such a concept?" Harry began to feel very small indeed.

"I…I dream about it sometimes. Well, often."

"Receiving it?"

"No. Giving."

"You like that idea?" Harry wondered if it was possible to sink through the floor with embarrassment.

"Y…Yes?"

"Do you want to do it to me sometime?" The hand running along Harry's side was making him hard. Or perhaps it was that velvety voice. Or the delicious concepts it suggested. Harry tried to speak and couldn't. Only nodded. "Do you like that idea?"

"I…yes!" Severus smirked again.

"In that case, I think we should add it to the schedule." Harry's stomach flipped, though whether it was excitement or nerves he wasn't sure. But the next moment Severus was kissing him again and it was the best feeling in the world. He was tugging Harry up into a sitting position and Harry obeyed willingly. Anything to keep that hot mouth on his own. Harry scooted up it until he was sitting against the pillows. Severus followed. They were wearing so few clothes…Harry could feel the hot press of Severus' cock between his thighs. It made him feel almost too excited to breathe.

Severus' hands transferred to Harry's waist, pushing the t-shirt upwards. Harry arched into the touch. Fewer clothes sounded fine to him. A second later though, when it was peeled off and Severus _stared_, he felt extremely self-conscious. He _wished_ he looked a little older. His chest was very bare, and his nipples were very pink. His muscles, though apparent, were extremely well hidden, making him look skinny. He barely even had any hair under his _arms_. One second later, however, he forgot about feeling self conscious. That amazing mouth had transferred itself to his neck and was sucking on his neck.

"Oh! Oh…" Harry managed, his hips lifting of their own accord. It got worse, much worse. Severus's tongue made its way leisurely down Harry's neck and onto his chest before licking one of his nipples. Harry convulsed and mewed with pleasure. How had he not known!? Another few moments and then Harry cried out as Severus _sucked_ on one, and then bit it firmly. By the time Severus returned his mouth to Harry's, Harry was a quivering wreck.

"You're very responsive," Severus smirked calmly against Harry's gasping mouth. Harry mewed and arched his hips up again. "I wonder if you're like that all over…" Harry's mind boggled. He didn't know if he could take so many sensations at once. He raised shaking hands and undid one button of Severus' shirt. When he was not stopped he continued down and down until it hung open and he was able to pull it away.

Severus was thin. He wasn't very hairy on his chest either, but he had a lot of scars and there was a fine trail of hair collecting at his stomach and diving down into his trousers. Harry stroked it.

"You know what they call that?" Harry looked up.

"No?"

Severus smiled.

"The happiness trail."

Harry laughed shakily. Severus kissed him on the mouth. "You're lovely," he said, running one thin hand down Harry's chest, making him shiver. "May I?" he asked. Although he was tugging on Harry's pyjama bottoms he was looking straight at him. Harry was glad he had asked. He didn't know why. He raised his hips and whispered,

"Yes." Severus knelt up and peeled the garment stickily from Harry, before removing his own. Severus stared. And Harry stared. Severus' was a lot bigger than his. And he was circumcised. At the moment it was red and wet at the end and looked very firm. It stood flat against Severus' stomach. Underneath were his balls, bigger and redder than his own. It seemed so strange to be looking at this, someone else's. Severus's! Harry managed to take his gaze downwards. Severus' legs were very thin and quite hairy, except where he had been scarred. Harry noticed a long, jagged one on his left leg and remembered Severus saving him in his first year. He looked back at Severus' eyes and jumped. Severus did not look one bit calm anymore. His eyes were hot and wild. Harry cried, "Oh," and then he was being kissed firmly, desperately, and all of that body was scratching up against his bare skin, the smooth hardness of his cock contrasting with Harry's, wet with precum and jerking with every movement. Harry was close now, very close and he tossed his head back and yelled, grinding his hips against the firm muscle of Severus' thigh.

"I'm…I'm..." he managed.

"Are you going to come, Harry, pet?" That voice alone nearly sent Harry over the edge. It was ragged and full of lust.

"Y-es I…" Severus reached between them and squeezed his hand around Harry's cock, tugged at his foreskin once, twice and then Harry came again, unable to keep his eyes open, his head back…he hadn't known…

When Harry returned to consciousness, he felt rather selfish. Severus had summoned his wand and was clearing Harry and himself of the mess that had managed to get all over them both, even a bit in Harry's hair. He had had two earth-shattering orgasms and Severus was still waiting.

"S-Severus?" Severus looked at him. That slightly mad look was still in his eyes. "I…I want…I want to…"

"What, Harry pet?" Instead of answering (his mouth didn't want to talk right now, it seemed) Harry scooted down the bed, and realising his intention, Severus' breath hitched. "Are you sure?" Harry wasn't sure. Not really. But he nodded anyway. It was bigger than he had expected, it was scary, but nevertheless, his mouth was watering. He wanted it so badly _and_ he was anxious all at the same time and he closed his eyes…

He licked the wet head experimentally. It tasted strange, but good, and Harry eagerly took it in his mouth, loving the firm pulse and the hoarse cry as he did so. Now a drop of precum wetted Harry's tongue and he lapped it up. Severus' hands pulled at his hair, and Harry loved it, he was sucking and purring happily, his left hand moving to wrap around the shaft and his right to squeeze and fondle the balls. Severus was gasping now; Harry could feel his body shaking. It was painful to kneel, leaning down with no hands available to lean on, and his jaw ached, but Harry didn't want to stop for a moment. The hands tightened. "Harry! Harry, I'm…" Harry knew he was warning him, he was about to come, Harry was going to taste him. Harry was rubbing himself against his Professor's leg now, and he moaned around his mouthful, just as Severus cried out and came. Harry tried to swallow it all. It seemed to last a long time and a little dripped out of his mouth. He sucked the last drop out, and grinned up at Severus.

He was laying head back on the pillows, gasping. Harry could only see the familiar harsh jut of his Adam's apple sliding up and down his throat, the stubble-covered underside of his chin. The pulsing, sweating skin under his ears. Severus' actual face was invisible. Harry sat up and climbed worriedly onto his chest, hoping he hadn't hurt him. The eyes were shut, the mouth was open. He was almost wheezing.

"Are you…was it..?"

"You," Severus gasped, "have done that before."

"In dreams. Sometimes I wake up with my fingers in my mouth…" Severus sat up and pulled Harry to him.

"You little minx," he said, biting Harry's bottom lip and then his ear. Harry laughed. He was happy. He had pleased Severus a lot. They had done everything now. He lay back and let Severus wrap his arms around him. Severus' hands slid down his back and squeezed his ass. "One of these days," he continued, his voice slurring with post-collatial pleasure. "You're going to get it, Mr Potter." Harry laughed shakily, wondering what Severus was talking about.

"Wh…what?" He murmured happily.

"Well, of course not if you don't want."

"Want what?" Harry grew even more confused, but, to his irritation, Severus' face cleared.

"You…you don't know do you?"

"Know what?!" Severus' hand pressed a spot on Harry's back, and something there made him gasp and his cock hardened.

"You feel that?"

"Y-Yes. Of course."

"I could put my fingers in you and touch it directly. Or my tongue. Or…" Harry mewled as he imagined it. Then he stiffened.

"What…in _there_?"

"Yes."

"But…it's tiny! You couldn't…" Severus rubbed the spot again and Harry couldn't help pressing his cock against Severus' leg. "Ah! Oh that's…good."

"It's alright pet. Not for a long time yet. I won't hurt you."

Harry snuggled down in Severus' arms.

"'M going to sleep now," he declared. And did.


	8. QUICK APOLOGY

Quick Apology!

Hey darlings,

I am really, really sorry not to update for so long, had major technical difficulties, including not being able to sign into FF. I have written lots in my absence and I will post this shortly. Say hi and shout all those who want to, more up and coming! Missed you all so much!

Ray


	9. Regrets

_ Ping. _Someone had put a sock in his mouth. There was no other explanation for it. Severus opened his mouth for a breath, and finding that there was no sock in his mouth, settled back on his pillows to sl – _ping_. That incessant noise had to be his alarm, discrete but firm, telling him he had to get up. But that was absurd. He must have been drunk last night, because nothing was coming to him, and he never got drunk on a school – _ping_. Stickily, Severus opened one eye, and then the other. That was okay. There was no light at all, as usual. The dungeons were usually dark. _**Ping**_. It was becoming more insistent. Suddenly there was a groan beside him and Severus yelped – in a very manly way, of course – and scrabbled for his wand. It was under his pillow as usual and he cried,

"Lumos!" To his surprise, his spell lit the lamps around a room which was not his own. Oh right. The Chamber of Secrets. His eyes dropped to the bed next to him. Harry. Squinted eyes opening blearily, biceps flexing in the effort of pulling up his body which was little more than a punch bag right now. The world seemed to go very cold as images started flashing through my brain…

"_I'll never get any less younger than you. I'm as ready now as I'll ever be. And I want this, Severus. I've never wanted anything more than this."_

**Why** had he given into that so easily? It made no sense, no sense at all. And he had just given in and –

"_Do you want to do it to me sometime?"_

Subtext: 'Sir, do I have a choice?'

"_I wonder if you're like that all over…"_

Oh god, had he really…?

"_S-Severus? Severus I…I want…I want to…"_

Unsteady, unsure, waiting to be commanded –

"_Are you sure?"_

So weak, Severus! Of course he wasn't sure. How could he be? Severus remembered the moment of confusion in the boys eyes before he had squinted them shut and –

"_Sometimes I wake up with my fingers in my mouth_…"

And he, Severus, had done that! He had put these perversions in the boy's head, made him dream about firm male thighs and strong, insistent mouths –

"_One of these days, you're going to get it, Mr Potter."_

Severus choked a little.

"_But…it's tiny! You couldn't…Ah! Oh that's…good."_

And then the images stopped. Severus _never_ went to sleep that quickly. He must have –

"Morning Sev'rus," Harry mumbled, lifting a hand to rub the sleep from his eyes, the thick duvet dropping to his waist. Severus gasped.

Harry's throat was covered in little bruises and bite marks, there was a slight cut on his ear which Severus vaguely remembered tasting. His chest was a graveyard of small hickeys and claw marks. There were bruises purpling at his hips where Severus had held them down…

Severus made another strangled sound and gestured to Harry's bare body. Harry looked down at himself in surprise.

"Goodness," he said, mildly, "don't worry, it really didn't hurt." So Severus had had sex with him then. Raped him was more the word. And he didn't remember, didn't –

"Harry," Severus managed, "what happened after I touched that place on your back?" Harry wrinkled his nose in an utterly characteristic gesture of amusement.

"You told me not to worry, said not for a long time yet. And then I went to sleep."

"That was it?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember up until then. I just thought…I mean…I'm so sorry Harry."

Harry looked at him calculatingly for a minute, then did something very odd. He knelt up and pushed Severus surprisingly hard back onto his pillows, so hard, in fact, that Severus felt his neck click. Then Harry climbed over him, the sheets tangling around their lower halves, separating their skin up to their chests. Harry leant down and touched Severus's eyelids with his rough thumb tips. Severus couldn't help but close them. Then, he felt a tingling sensation on his lips, and knew he was being kissed so softly he could hardly feel it. The coarse hands continued to stroke his face, he could feel them caressing gently. His heart leapt as he realised he felt no spark of desire or rising panic, but a hot bubble of happiness and peacefulness curled up inside him. The tingling stopped and Severus opened his eyes.

He looked at Harry properly this time. Despite the bruises, Harry looked better than he had in days. He looked more alive, more cheerful, less tired. He was more beautiful than Severus had ever remembered him being before. He had gone from being the clumsy child who was the object of Severus's frustrated, perverted desires, to being – what? His lover? Those perfect, innocent green eyes were as perfect and innocent and green as they had ever been, and they looked on Severus with a sense of peace and contentment – no longer with suppressed desire and slight reproach.

"We should take a shower," Harry said gently. "We'll be late for school if we're much longer. Severus hardly heard him. He watched, spellbound, as Harry extricated himself from the sheets and headed over to towards Severus' new mini-bathroom. He felt a familiar thump of longing in his chest as he admired the boy in the lamplight. He followed.


	10. Head War

Harry stood gazing at the mouth of the cave, shoulder to shoulder with his teacher. The mouth of it loomed blackly and invitingly across the rough, dramatic sea. It seemed that even the weather was affected by the steady thrum of power Harry could feel from the cave. It made him shiver to think that only a year ago he would have been oblivious even to this. He and Severus had broomsticks and they mounted them now. Severus took of first, and although he was obviously no Quiddich player, he was surprisingly graceful in the air. Harry kicked off after him and they were level within seconds. Severus shot him an exhilarated smile which made Harry's heart turn over.

Together they shot into the blackness, igniting their wands, and slowed down as they entered a passageway. They followed the thrum until they hit a wall, and Harry pulled out his little vial of blood. He dripped a little on and the door hissed, as though hot before drawing aside. They floated in. They found themselves in a partially lit round chamber full of water with only a narrow walkway around the edge to where they could see a boat moored. In the centre was the island, and on it was the source of light, a big stone bowl. Severus gave the boat one scornful look and flew warily across the lake. Harry determinedly did not look down at the inferi he knew would be gazing up at him from the water. When on the island, they took off their packs. From his, Harry pulled a length of wire which he had prepared. It would burn fiercely all the way along, and Harry proceeded to arrange it around the island before lighting it. It would provide a safety net for himself and Severus, and also warmth – the cave was cold and damp. Then Harry pulled out a tiny bottle of water, and enlarged it to its original side. It was the size of a small barrel with a straw in the side, like a beer tap, which Severus could drink from when he had taken the potion. Then Harry looked up. Severus was draining the last of his sticky black potion which looked, smelled and apparently tasted fowl, from the face Severus was making. Then, together, they approached the bowl.

Typically without preamble, Severus picked up the glass, filled it from the bowl and mock-toasted Harry with a sarcastic incline of his head. Then, as though as a second thought he reminded Harry,

"You remember I must drink it all. Even if I beg you not to give me anymore, you must keep forcing me to drink it, alright Harry?" Harry swallowed and nodded. Here came the test. Severus knocked back his goblet full of clear liquid in one shot, shuddered heart-wrenchingly and dipped his hand into the liquid for another. Harry stood helplessly by as Severus dispatched three more glasses in the same way. But his strength was waning. Harry could see that. He wanted to snatch the goblet from Severus' hand and drink it himself. But he knew if he did he would die, and he couldn't die yet. So instead, he steeled himself.

"Come on Severus, another." Severus was half-slumped, panting over the bowl, as though he was about to throw up. Harry approached him and laid a hand on his back.

"Make it stop," Severus groaned; his face set and livid with pain. Harry dipped the goblet in for the fifth time. Severus had drunk a lot already; more than half. He held it out to Severus who drank it like a baby before collapsing onto the ground. Harry refilled the goblet and it scraped the bottom. The next one would be the last. If Severus could hold out. Is Harry could hold out. He knelt down and made Severus sit up, letting him slump against his arm, tipping his head back to force him to drink.

"No!" Severus cried, turning his head away, "Please, not more. Voldemort can have my soul, it's not worth…"

"Can he have mine too, Severus? If you don't drink, he will." Harry hated himself. But Severus drank, screaming with pain when he had gulped it down. Harry was shaking by the time he returned with the locket and the last goblet. He propped Severus up again, trying to block out the shuddering, the moans… "Come on Severus, last one. This will make it better. Please, Severus, for me. Drink." Severus became still, looking at Harry. He almost seemed to get a grip on himself. Then he snatched the goblet and dispatched the last drop before Harry could ask again. Then he turned away and crawled mutely towards the barrel of water. He drank deeply and long, and then lay back on the rock.

"I am nearly recovered," he said hoarsely. Harry nodded shakily. He shrank the water back to miniature and repacked it. He cleared up everything else, took the letter out of his pocket and dropped it in the bowl. Then he went and sat by Severus until he was ready to go. They flew back over the ring of fire and water slowly, using another few drops of Harry's blood to exit. Harry apparated them back to just outside the castle grounds and they walked through the gates and up to the castle in exhausted but triumphant silence.

HP/SS

Severus wandered around for the next day in a dream. He failed to notice that a third year dared to whisper to their partner in his class, and deducted a mere fifty points from Gryffindor in the whole day! He didn't know what to think. One moment he'd be cursing himself for spoiling the boy forever with his own selfish desires, and the next he'd catch sight of Harry out of the windows, or in the great hall and the terrified knot of guilt in his stomach seemed to ease. Harry was still bright-eyed, laughing and handsome. His face was still full of intelligence and curiosity, not tainted as Severus felt they ought to be. He feared Harry would be there, waiting when he got back to his new rooms. Perhaps he would be stretched out wantonly on Severus' bed, reaching out with those little, child's hands. But he was not. The hallowed chamber was as silent as the grave: just the way Severus liked it.

He went over to his drinks cabinet, poured himself a whiskey (gin reminded him too much of Harry) and sat, pondering in his chair. A taste of heaven. A big, solid dose. It was hard to believe now that it had even happened. For a few minutes he thought about it from an almost academic distance, weighing out right and wrong, but within a few minutes, the images rushing through his head became more and more vivid and he groaned a low, soft groan, his head tipping back, pouring more of the spirit down his throat.

HP/SS

Harry, Ron and Hermione were the last ones in the common room, as usual. The fire had burned low. Ron was almost asleep, his eyes drifting open occasionally to gaze at Hermione. She was bent over her work, but was writing at a very slow speed, and erased her last ten minutes' work regularly. Only Harry was truly absorbed in his task. He was wearing plastic gloves and turning a ring over and over in his hands, occasionally muttering and tapping it with his wand, constantly referring to the volumes around him. At that moment the portrait hole opened with a bang and they all jumped and turned around abruptly, the ring, the gloves and the books all disappearing in an instant.

A tall, thin, bat-like figure was framed in the portrait way. As Snape stalked into the room, Harry recognised the red in his eyes as the eyes of a drunk, and stood up, ready. But he was not prepared for what happened next. The dark, enraged man grabbed Harry roughly by the collar of his neck and pulled him close, tilting his head back painfully to look in his eyes. Harry gazed back, not frightened, knowing that his power far outstripped a drunken Snape, his hand loosely gripped around the wand in his pocket.

It was not necessary, however. After a few minutes Snape released Harry and swayed a little where he stood. Harry guided him into the chair he had just been occupying, transfigured the fire-iron into a glass and filled it with water magically. Snape drank gratefully. Then he turned to his gobsmacked friends.

"I'll be back in a sec, just gotta go grab a potion to sober him up. Keep him talking. Don't worry; he's too drunk to bite." Harry dashed up the stairs. Snape gave a little groan and held out his arm toward the stairs but Ron pushed him back.

"Stay there," he said firmly. "What are you doing here?"

"He…I had to know I wasn't….I hadn't…I hadn't spoiled him forever."

"Why?" Hermione barked with shocking aggression. "Why would you have spoiled him? What did you do?"

"I…he wanted…I couldn't help it…"

"That's enough, Severus," Harry said, his tone full of steel, returning with a small vial in his hands. Without preamble he jerked Snape's head back and forced the stuff down his throat. Snape coughed, blinked, and straightened. "You really need to stop school-night drinking," Harry said calmly, ignoring the shocked look on Ron's face, and the suspicious one on Hermione's.

"Potter, how dare you speak to me like that? I…"

"Save it. Come on, let's go back."

Harry managed to get them back into the Chamber of Secrets without being seen. Severus flopped in Harry's arms like a doll as Harry dressed him in a nightshirt and led him up to bed. Lying in bed, Severus watched Harry disappear out of sight into the bathroom and called out in protest, but Harry had only gone to get Severus a tub to throw up in. Severus reached for Harry when he sat on the bed, but Harry grabbed his arms, and Severus found Harry was too strong to overpower.

"Severus, we need to talk about this. I don't know what's wrong with you! The man I fell in love with is strong, dark, and grumpy, has a terrible temper, is in complete control of himself, and me too if he wanted to be."

It took Severus a few moments to process this last.

"I'm not sorry about what happened," Harry went on, "but right now you're a mess and that's not good enough for me. There's a lot we could do together but you need to wake up. I'm going to go back to my tower now, but when you're ready to be you again, let me know. I'll be here tomorrow night at eight."


End file.
